Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
