did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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