There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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