Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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