How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
