gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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