She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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