they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
