I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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