Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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