Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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