After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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