god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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