its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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