Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
