I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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