matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize