I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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