i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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