Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
