I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
