You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
