ugly people sure do ruin things
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
