sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
