I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize