It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
