I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Randomize
