Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
