16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
