I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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