I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
