so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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