My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
