Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
