Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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