Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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