The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
