So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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