i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
