highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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