forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
