i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
