id be glad to
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
