I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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