She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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