Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Randomize
