He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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