Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Is Oprah even human
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
