If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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