I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
