Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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