census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
