"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
