Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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