no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
