quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
