I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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