I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
